what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
