remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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