when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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