I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
