On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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