just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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