I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
