Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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