people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
