Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I puked a lego.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
