Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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