This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Randomize
