i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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