ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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