i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
