I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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