I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
