Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
