I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
someone owes me an orgasm
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
