I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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