You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
