So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
