I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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