My balls are so social today.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
