he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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