I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
