Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This toilet bowl is my home.
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