I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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