you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
