If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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