yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
