Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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