You're completely useless in the revolution.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
