i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
