i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
