Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
