Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
