What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im having a threesome with these popsicles
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
