My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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