My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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