I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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