I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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