She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize