so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
