i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
