He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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