So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
love makes seman taste better
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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