I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
