You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
