Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
