You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
