You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
