his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
