so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
